Profile Of A Hoarder

How many Tiarans will, in a jiffy, say yes to exchanging their RM300,000 - RM400,000 Tiara Damansara unit for a US$1,000,000 property?

Not so Mrs. L.0.T. (the initials of her name, since she wants her identity kept confidential, the condition for permitting me to write this article).

It all started when Mrs. Lot (as we shall call her) dropped over for a visit. Home to visit her aged mother, she had called to ask whether we could meet up for lunch and catch up with all the happenings after she migrated to Perth five years ago. Mrs. Lot owned a unit in K block then, but sold it prior to moving Down Under. We had not seen each other for quite some time, and she had not seen my unit in Q16 since I moved in less than three years ago.

"Wah, so immaculate and neat," she exclaimed when she came in. "And so minimalist too. I can never keep an apartment like yours, which is so tidy and uncluttered. You see, I am a hoarder," she explained.

"Some time ago, I watched an Oprah Winfrey show. A hoarder accepted Oprah's offer of a million dollar property if she would give up her unit, discard all the things she had collected over decades of years, and never again hoard stuff. So the segment showed the untidy, (things strewn all over the rooms), dirty (even used baby diapers were on the floor) and cluttered premises. It ended with a brand new, tidy and clean property handed to the former hoarder. For me, I would never have accepted Oprah's offer," Mrs. Lot stated.

"I will never, ever, trade my old home for a strange new property that is not me. I will feel lost living under such circumstances. I may be a hoarder, and have things all over the place, in drawers, cupboards, boxes on the floor, but I know where to find items that I need. My son, who lived with me before I emigrated, may have difficulty locating my items, but I know exactly where they are."

In the beginning, her mother, siblings and well meaning friends kept telling her to keep a neater home, so in the end, tired of their nagging, she disallowed them to visit. During her stint at Tiara, only 2 friends who kept equally untidy homes were allowed to visit. "We don’t have to defend ourselves. This is the way we are, and this is our life, so if others find us strange, then don’t drop in. We are not lonely people. In fact, if you ask me, we are generous people. We give or loan friends what we have and which may not be in existence any more since they are virtually antiques."

Their philosophy, so she said, was, "If something is not broken and still usable or serviceable, why throw it away?"

She added that hoarders tended to be sentimental people. "The things we keep have great sentimental value to us. Like my son's teddy bear which was given to him when he was a child. Even today I will hug the bear and remember the nostalgic times we had."

When she moved to Perth, her son was happy at the sight of the clean and whitewashed home she had bought, but that did not last long. Once her items of furniture, clothes, decorations, etc., arrived in crates from Malaysia, the rooms started filling up, and because she had so many things to do, she had been unable to unpack all the boxes and put things where they should.

And now, after so many years there?, I asked. The same, she replied. There were still boxes all over, and some old bed sheets draped temporarily where curtains should have been. She still has her younger sister's mismatched furniture, which had been handed to her when her sister bought a new set.

"It does not matter whether they match or not. After all, they are so comfortable and still new, so why waste and buy a new set."

Would it not have been cheaper for her to buy a set there rather than incur shipping costs freighting the items over?

"That may be true, but then, the new set won’t have any sentiments attached," re-iterating the sentimentality of hoarders.

"I took across even old clothes which I may use again, once I find the matching material for a couple of cloth buttons which had dropped off. I have a huge bagful of such clothes. I still have birthday gifts which I don’t think I will ever use, but then I may give them as gifts to others one day," Mrs. Lot added.

What other stuff does she hoard – I mean, store – in her home in Perth?

There are old shoes that she intends to have mended, though in Australia, it is not easy to find a cobbler, unlike in Malaysia, she added. But who knows, one day she just might bump into one.

And newspapers, of course. There may be an interesting article in the paper which she would like to cut out and keep. Yes, photographs too. She has boxes of them, "But I don’t have the time to place them into albums. I will, one day, when I am more organised," she explained. She intends to put all her school photos into one album, all her family events in another, and another of outings and occasions with friends. "But I must find the time."

Mrs. Lot does not encourage friends and relatives "not on the same wavelength as her" to drop in.

"They may comment on why I am serving tea in different cups and saucers and pot, which is really uncalled for,” she stated. "People don’t understand us. They think we are odd people because we seem unwilling to throw anything away. They even think we are stingy, but we are not tightfisted. We are merely sentimental and find such joy recalling memories when looking at some of the items. I pick up my son's squeaky toy duck now and then and squeeze it. The squeaks still sound, and I smile at the memories of bathing my son with him playing the duck. We hoarders have many good memories of events past," she smiled.

I invited her to overnight at my place during her stay here. "No, I can’t accept." Surprised, I asked why, to be told, "Because I will have to reciprocate when you come to Perth for a trip. And I can’t invite you to stay at my place, since you wont feel comfortable. I know, because you are so tidy. And maybe, like my mother and siblings, you may ‘lecture’ me on my untidiness and persuade me to keep an uncluttered home. That would be an invasion of my privacy," she concluded, apologizing for being so frank.

A hoarder friend of hers gave her a fridge magnet a long time ago, and which she still has today. It has a 5-word statement on it: Boring women have immaculate homes!

Thank you, Mrs. Lot, for opening my eyes to such an interesting mentality.